They Do

Bartender Who's Perky: "You ladies are still awake?"

One of the two women on the couch in the lobby: "Do we need to leave?"

Bartender Who's Perky: "No, you're fine."

Bartender Who's Perky: [to me] "They're so cute."

Me: Nods unconvincingly, thinking about something else.

Bartender Who's Perky: "I'm all like, 'You ladies still awake?' and they're like, 'Why, do we need to leave,' and I'm like, 'No, you're fine.'"

Me: Nods again, smiles spacily.

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This whole exchange is important insofar as it reminds me of this hairdresser I used to have who would do this:

Hairdresser: "Oops, I guess this brush is wet!  [pause]  I'm all, "Oops, I guess this brush is wet!'"

Weirdest tic I have ever heard, maybe?  Saying something mundane, then immediately afterward saying, "I'm all," and repeating the mundane thing.  I want to write a novel where a character does that every time she appears.

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If you're wondering if I have taken some kind of medicine or drug tonight that makes everything seem interesting and worth writing posts about, I will let you in on a little secret.  I'm all, "I will let you in on a little secret."  It's coffee mixed with Swiss Miss.  The poor man's mocha.  The poor man's mescaline.  "Do poor men need mescaline?" you wonder.  "Or for that matter, mochas?" 

They do.