GEL. In my HAIR.

Co-worker: I'm running so late.  I didn't even have time to wash my hair.

Me: It's okay.  A lot of people skip a day between washing their hair.

Co-worker: But I never do, so it's going to get super greasy.

Me: Just tell people you put gel in it.  If you see them staring.

This reminds me of a story my friend told me about her friend, who wore a purse to the mall that was missing one strap, and she was so self-conscious about it she said to anyone who looked at her, "It broke," apologetically, and no one knew what she was even talking about.

"There's gel in it."

"...What??"