Something I noticed: Many of the women I work with, instead of saying, "It's okay," or "It's fine," when I apologize for something small - say - "You're fine."
Example, because that was horribly worded because I'm sleep deprived (Wal Mart over sleep, who have I become?!):
Me: [Swings a door into someone's foot]: "Oh, sorry."
Other Person: "You're fine."
I think part of the reason I notice it is that it very slightly, very vaguely bothers me. Because - there is no need to reassure me that I am fine as a person when I apologize for jamming the door into your foot.
You know? This is making me sound crazy, maybe? I just think there is a tinge of condescension to it. And that they should be saying IT'S fine.
Me: "Oops, I forgot to print the Guests In House Report. I'll do it right now."
Other Person: "You're fine."
I know I'm fine! Aargh!
So anyway. A lot of women at work, in all different departments, say this. I thought it was a my-work thing. And limited to women. (I will spare you my sociological theories as to why only women would say this and how it caught on in particular at my workplace.)
BUT TODAY. At Wal Mart in Wasilla. I paused while pushing my cart. I was blocking an aisle. A guy who worked there said (nicely), "Can I get through here?" and I said, "Oh, yeah," and moved my cart. AND HE SAID. "You're fine."
Aaaugh! What? I didn't even apologize! You're a man! You don't work at the lodge!
I watched him walk down the aisle and decided it's a regional expression.
So um, to tie this all together: if you decide to make a movie set in Alaska, you should have people say, "You're fine" a lot, and people from here will feel that the film is really authentic without being able to put their finger on why.
that is soo me!! i'm totally one of those people that say "you're fine". lol
ReplyDeleteHaha. But it's okay when you do it. You're fine.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if that's truly regional to Alaska. I feel like I've heard it (perhaps used it myself seeing as to how I savor condescension) round these parts. I do like the observation.
ReplyDeleteIf I said it to you it would be You's fiiiiine! Mmmm, hmm.
I definitely say "Oh, you're fine!" but it definitely depends on context. Like, "Oh sorry, let me get out of your way!" "Oh no, you're fine." If someone said, "Sorry for jabbing your toe with this knife" I would say, "Oh, it's okay." Subtleties :)
ReplyDeletethat is something that would definitely bother me too. i would probably feel offended, and think "well thanks for reassuring me about my being"
ReplyDeleteI love that this annoys you. I have never thought about it, really, and probably have used it... but I think on some unconscious level I knew it was a very very wrong use of language. a very inappropriate, and rude thing to say. maybe i'm sounding hyperbolic, but i'm not intending it. it's subtle social language like this that is the most insidious. i say.
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